Everything we've ever thought about willpower is wrong. Studies show we don't have a limited supply of it. It's also not something we can manufacture or build. Which means, every time you excuse away why you didn't achieve your goals due to a, "lack of willpower" - you've been lying to yourself.

Willpower is more like an emotion - and, a negative one at that.

Willpower is when you have to struggle and fight to not do something. It's intense and draining. That's exactly why successful people don't use willpower. Who wants to burn themselves out on the long journey to achieving your dreams? Instead, successful people use willpower's opposing force: passion.

You aren't born with passion. It's something you must develop.

There are three phases to building the kind of passion that will help you achieve success. They are as follows:

1) Spark. You must first find something you care about. Something that sparks a desire to fix a problem or make something better.

2) Fan. Next, you must feed the spark of passion by getting curious. Really curious. You must seek information, tools, resources, and people to help you nurture the spark of passion into something you can't stop thinking about. This requires GRIT, and it's the phase where most people give up.

3) Fuel. Once your passion is focused, it's time to turn it into a habit. You must give yourself time every day to work on your passion so you can feel the warmth and energy it provides you. Conditioning yourself to fuel your passion on a daily basis will make you want to work. It will drive you because you will love how it feels.

Sounds easy enough, but sadly, in my 18+ years in HR and career coaching, I can tell you very few people every develop their passion to the level they need to succeed - only round 3 percent. That's because...

Pain gets you to the starting line, passion gets you to the finish line.

Consider this: when you finally get frustrated enough with your situation that you want to make a change, the pain pushes you to take initial action. But, it doesn't sustain you because there just isn't enough willpower to carry you through. Instead, you need to use the pain to find your spark, fan the flames, and fuel your passion to the point it drives you to succeed. Running towards something is fun and exciting - that's passion. Running away from something is scary and stressful - that's willpower.

J.T. O'Donnell is a HR and career expert with 18+ years experience. She is the founder and CEO of Work It Daily, a site dedicated to helping people solve their own career problems. Sign-up for one of her free webinars today (click here) to learn more about getting out of your career rut.

Originally published on Linkedin Pulse.